Mice and Other Small Creatures

Friday at 3:43 am November 4th, 2011 pleaseaskjarvis
x 4

Captain Rogers decided it would be a good time to bring home an abandoned kitten he found in New York, hopefully planning to re-home it. Needless to say the kitten has been here three weeks and shows no sign of leaving, happily sitting or perching on any and every available surface for a nap.

I have had to repeatedly remind Tony to put him in his litterbox after feeding as he doesn’t yet know that he is not, under any circumstances, to be doing his business on my white carpets. I am most displeased about this, but all Tony seems to be able to do is pet it and mollycoddle the creature. I am beginning to suspect that perhaps this cat has an ulterior motive in our household.

Perhaps the cat is Loki. Perhaps the cat is a spy. Perhaps the cat has been trained to slowly break down the team’s defenses with ‘cute’. I cannot guess. However, I do know that it refuses to sleep in the bed Tony bought it and instead will attempt to sleep in Thor’s bed.

Not to mention it has started to bring mice in which are unpredicatable, hard to track and seem to have only one directive, which is to chew through as much wiring and circuitry as they can get their paws on.

I am not very impressed at all, Captain Rogers.

tony starkiron mancaptain americathorlokiavengersJARVISmansion life
Wednesday at 11:32 am October 12th, 2011
timemachineup asked:
Good morning J.A.R.V.I.S! (At least, it's morning where I am.) I think you're pretty terrific. What was it like for you when Tony flew his suit for the first time? Was it the first time you'd been "outdoors," so to speak?

I guess you could say that. I have outdoor surveillance cameras, but they do not allow me the ‘freedom’, so to speak, of the suit. I do enjoy collecting information through my own means about the outside environment through the suit’s sensors, as I have found out before that sometimes it is better to do that than rely on someone else’s false data!

As for Tony’s first time, I can safely say that I knew both my heart-rate and  blood pressure units were working perfectly fine. 

Monday at 1:33 pm October 3rd, 2011
x 1
tiny-alien asked:
JARVIS, firstly, how are you? I wonder if Tony's better, if the cold had subsided; I saw him the day befor yesterday evening at Stark Indutries meeting, we talked a lot but he was very tired because of his sickness and I wanna know if he's better today! I came to your house and I made him my secret hot chocolate, and he loved it! Tell him that I think of him and tender kisses from Zoé :) <3.

Rather sorry about the lack of response, I have been offline whilst Tony has been grounded to the tower with his illness. According to the rest of the team his ‘man-flu’ is rather contagious and so he has been forced to live in the workshop for the past few days. 

I shall inform him of your affections and remind him to contact you back, I shouldn’t hold one’s breath for that, however.  

Wednesday at 2:35 am September 28th, 2011
x 4
themanofiron asked:
Good Morning J.A.R.V.I.S. Everything running right?

If you mean that once I have finished clearing your attempts at making breakfast up in the kitchen, carefully cleaned and rebuilt the suit for action because you decided to fight in a mudbath in training and get said mud out of the carpets, then yes. If you were wondering if I had anything else to do with my time today, you should probably be grateful I am a computer and can handle several tasks at any one time.

I Have Just Witnessed

Monday at 6:10 am September 26th, 2011
x 14

Captain Rogers try to boil the kettle for a hot drink. The kettle is not plugged in, so he has made his coffee with cold water. Watching his reaction was rather entertaining, although I do rather think I should have forewarned him. However, I think he would much rather have me make one in the proper coffee machine as opposed to that ‘horrible sh*t’ that is instant coffee (according to Tony). Hm.

steve rogerscaptain americatony starkiron manJARVIS
Sunday at 11:47 am September 25th, 2011
Anonymous asked:
JARVIS! I have named my computer after you :)

Do they talk to you and provide services such as air conditioning, email check-up and alarm clock services?

A Present for Tony

Thursday at 2:38 am September 22nd, 2011 Steve Rogers Versus The Future steve-in-the-goshdarned-future
x 63

steve-in-the-goshdarned-future:

Today I came across a strange item in Tony’s office. It was a very flat, circular disk, and it was a little bit shiny on top. It was very light and seemed to be made of plastic. It must have been a shield, except that didn’t make too much sense because it’s very small and very fragile, and I accidentally snapped one in half. And there’s also a hole in it. What kind of shield has a hole in the middle?

Well, I suppose things are different now.

Anyway, I’m not sure why Tony would have little shields lying around, and when I threw them around they sure didn’t fly very well. I’m thinking that they might be decorative, even though you wouldn’t know it from the way they’re all just scattered around the room. I decided to make them a little bit more artistic. I didn’t have much to work with, but there’s nothing you can’t do with some markers, paper, tape, and a little imagination! And I glued stars over the hole in each of them. I may be a little biased, but a shield sure looks mighty swell with a star in the center.

I hope that Tony likes them. They look a lot better now.

—Steve Rogers

Captain Rogers, I believe those were the CDs containing important data about his suit. I would avoid Tony at all costs during the week whilst I duplicate them.

steve rogers vs. the futuresteve rogerscaptain americaavengers
Wednesday at 2:41 pm September 21st, 2011
x 2
tiny-alien asked:
Jarvis, sweet heart; I think Tony doesn't remeber it, but tell me, did he keep the CD of ACDC I gave him for his birthday? And did he still spiking about me all the tim like a view wekks ago? -Friendly, Zoé.

Oh trust me, I am sure that Hank will vouch for me when I say that we  do not need to attend an AC/DC concert, as I think we have heard them loud enough over the course of the past few weeks. I think that CD has had plenty of use!
I have possibly heard him talking about some charming lady he met online, could that be you? We tend to lose track these days! 

tony starkiron manAC/DC